The problem with mice in the workplace

I’ve got to get this out of my system or it will stew inside me like the Bubonic Plague itself.

So, today’s duties include snooping through coworkers’ cubicles to find half-distended broken necks of poor mouse friends who have been caught unawares in the snare of a cheese trap. One coworker says that live traps are too expensive, then I find a live trap in another coworker’s cube with one dead and one live mouse huddled up in the confines of the steel mesh tetrahedron of a starvation.

I released two mice so far today, within my first hour in the office. Both are surely lost to us, as they quickly burrowed into the snow through starved-crazed brains, surely most nearly would rather succumb to the numbing cold frostbitten abyss than sit around staring and wishing they knew just what the heck these humans were up to.

How can we live like this? The World Health Organization says there are between 100-200 million rats in America, 100 million shy of the human mortality sentence.

Now, after a brief bit of traumatizing, and potentially compounding antisocial tendencies (who wants to work with me when I would rather die of rabies than work contentedly on a computer all day, while cute little mousies die around my feet) I shall return to digging through analytics and AdWords data for the company.

Maybe by this time next year, if I don’t explode with rage in angst from the fight for the little guy, I will be working in a vet’s office or maybe I’ll just become a programmer sitting at home, alone, with my coffee, robe, and a few rats hanging about my hair and shoulders.

Won’t you join me in the fight to save the mice?


Featured image via do you mind if i knit

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